GRANDMA'S PORTRAIT
GRACE OCASIO
First, I learned my father's stare.
He sat still as a barrel
at the dinner table.
Then I scoured
Grandma's static face for clues
to Dad's airtight mind.
Grandma Cloris died
before Dad knew if he liked
his eggs sizzled or parboiled.
The mystery of my father's furrowed head dogs me
when I lounge on my bed, legs bent,
bathing-beauty style.
While Grandma primped for a photo,
cheeks glowing with rouge,
I waited for God to signal me to become flesh.
When I saw His finger point in my direction,
like a police officer’s conducting traffic,
I slipped from Mom’s womb, blinked her into view.
For five years, I swirled from one event to the next.
At six, the light of Grandma's face
crept into my eyes, clear as tinsel.
I tugged at Grandma's portrait,
placed my ear close to the frame,
listened for its murmur.
If I could have pulled Grandma's hands
out of the portrait and read them,
I would have known
how to cross every street I ran into,
her hands guiding me
like a crossing guard’s.
He sat still as a barrel
at the dinner table.
Then I scoured
Grandma's static face for clues
to Dad's airtight mind.
Grandma Cloris died
before Dad knew if he liked
his eggs sizzled or parboiled.
The mystery of my father's furrowed head dogs me
when I lounge on my bed, legs bent,
bathing-beauty style.
While Grandma primped for a photo,
cheeks glowing with rouge,
I waited for God to signal me to become flesh.
When I saw His finger point in my direction,
like a police officer’s conducting traffic,
I slipped from Mom’s womb, blinked her into view.
For five years, I swirled from one event to the next.
At six, the light of Grandma's face
crept into my eyes, clear as tinsel.
I tugged at Grandma's portrait,
placed my ear close to the frame,
listened for its murmur.
If I could have pulled Grandma's hands
out of the portrait and read them,
I would have known
how to cross every street I ran into,
her hands guiding me
like a crossing guard’s.
GRACE OCASIO's poetry has appeared in Rattle, Black Renaissance Noire, Court Green, Poetry South, Two Hawks Quarterly, and elsewhere. She is originally from New York. Her honors include a nomination for the Pushcart Prize in 2016, placing as a finalist in the 2016 Aesthetica Creative Writing Award for Poetry, receiving the 2014 North Carolina Arts Council Regional Artist Project Grant, winning honorable mention in the 2012 James Applewhite Poetry Prize, winning the 2011 Sonia Sanchez and Amiri Baraka Prize in Poetry, and becoming a scholarship recipient to the 2011 Napa Valley Writers' Conference.
